My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
