Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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