Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
