hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
