Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That accounts for only three of the penises
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
