you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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