Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
