I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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