If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
