Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
