get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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