Already got asked if we're dating
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
