Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
