So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
