I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
