ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
