NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
