So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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