i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize