I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
