Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
