Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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