forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
