Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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