he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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