You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
