Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
