I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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