Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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