Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
