Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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