we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
