pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
