Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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