Three words: puerto rican gang bang
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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