you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
