his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
