dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
