You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize