He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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