I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
