nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
