the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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