i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
