I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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