guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
