Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
