Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize