I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
