i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
