Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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