We won't sleep together?
i think my mom watched the whole time
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
