She is in my trunk
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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