I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
