i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
