I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
