I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
