There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize