i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
