69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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