im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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