My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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