Pappa wants mamma naked
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
