He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
