I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I looked at my own cervix.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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