My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
