cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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