so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
