I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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