I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
