I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
